Leaps of Faith

things I'm not good at: seeing God in the mundane things God is teaching me: finding Him in the mundane At the beginning of the summer I started a ministry job that was a lot of repeat tasks. Although not every day was the same and every week varied, I did a lot of the same things over and over again. While some people enjoy this, I do not. I like routine, in the way of I know what I'm doing at a certain time, but not in the way of continually doing the same thing. This job was the exact opposite. I rarely knew what I would be doing at a certain time and I did a lot of the same things day after day and sometimes even week after week, depending on the camp. This left me feeling like I was living in the mundane a lot of the time. Now that I've moved home (for two weeks), life has also become sort of mundane. I rarely have anywhere to be on a certain day besides what I want to do for myself. I no longer have homework that needs done. I don't have an alarm set, for the...

As I sit on my back porch where I've spent a lot of time while being home this week on a break in between my May term class and my summer job, I realize how much of the month of May has been about realizing and enjoying the simplest things in life. Although I believe this is a cliche saying, I believe it's something we need to say less and practice more. The month of May has become a season of slowing down and appreciating the simple things in life throughout the past few years of being college, yet this month always seems to fly by and I can never seem to get enough of it. There's something precious, sacred, and rare that comes with enjoying the simple things in life. I'm not sure if it's the fact that I don't slow down my life often enough to enjoy the simple things or if it's just the constant rush of the world that almost never seeks to enjoy the simple things. See, I am careful to not call them the little things in life, because I know they aren't...

This whole semester has seemed to be filled with ups and downs. I would feel emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted one week and the very next, I would seem to feel like I was thriving in so many aspects of life. This past month has had a lot of different ups and downs, such as going to concerts, telling some of my friends goodbye for the summer, days where I didn't even know what I was feeling, questioning what the future looks like even more deeply, ending my year as an RA, and spending time with my family. I'm thankful that no matter our ups and downs, God is always constant and His consistency isn't based upon our feelings. These moments, whether classified as ups or downs have been some of the moments where God has seemed the most present in my life within the month of April. -a moment where I realized I was severely distracted in class, but instead found myself thinking about how God has protected me in so many ways this semester -having dinner with a dear ...

I'm sitting at my desk in my room in my dorm, the halls are eerie and empty as all but one of my residents has moved out, I've taken down all of my hall decorations and there are less than twenty people still living in the residence hall as a total. I've done a lot of reflecting within the past several days as this space has been a space that has truly felt like home this year. I've experienced some of the most joyous moments here, such as meeting my residents for the first time, creating memories with my staff, hosting friends and family in the space that I claim as home, and even receiving the news that I got the job that I was hoping for next year. However, I've also experienced some of the most challenging hardships here, too, such as having hard conversations with friends, crying multiple nights when going through a brutal breakup, and experiencing anxiety. All of these things, ups or downs, have led me to such a greater reminder: that I'm not in control. ...

A few months ago I met with one of the most intentional people I know for lunch and she asked what I was learning from God. Although this thought always strikes me with anxiety as there are normally so many things I want to share, I was caught off guard and honestly didn't know what to say. I knew God was teaching me to just put one foot in front of the other in order to walk in obedience with Him, but I guess I couldn't think of those words in that moment. She shared in my time of silence "it's okay, sometimes God is teaching us to just sit still." Wow, that hit me more than I would like to admit. There are so many times when I catch myself so busy and on the go, just to get to the next thing that I don't actually take the time to be okay with sitting still. However, this past month, so many of the times where I've felt the presence of God the most have been during the times where I've intentionally been okay with sitting still and listening for His...

A few days ago, I was on a walk with one of my mentors. In the middle of our conversation, she stopped and looked at me and said the simple yet humbling statement of, "You're beautiful..you know that, right?"  I was very caught off guard by this question. Without much hesitation, I replied back with, "Yes." She went on to ask me about how I knew I was beautiful and what I thought made me beautiful. As we talked more and more about this topic and as I've processed this conversation over the past few days, I've come to the realization of how much our culture, especially women, struggle with knowing their self worth and their beauty (inner or outer) and how much our society doesn't talk about it or tries to mask it.  I feel very blessed to have not ever really struggled with self worth issues. I've had incredibly strong women in my life that have displayed what knowing and living out their self worth meant and from a young age, my mom always...

I have been reading several books just for fun lately. Reading is actually therapeutic to me so I somehow find time to read in addition to the books I read for assignments for my classes. Right now, I'm almost finished with Leeana Tankersley's book, Begin Again: The Brave Practice of Releasing Hurt & Receiving Rest . This book has been so life-giving to me and has really helped me walk through many of my struggles and thoughts in this season of life. One of my favorite quotes from the book has been something I've been pondering lately, as what it states is so true and raw and something I've wanted to say, but didn't really know how to put into words. She beautifully states, "Most of us, though, would rather hang on to a known, even if what is known isn't working, even if it requires no faith at all, than venture into the unknown."  On an early morning while drinking my coffee before class, I read this statement in the middle of one of the ch...

We all have those people in our life that feel like home, those people that we go to lean on in the hard times and the people we tell first when we have a celebratory moment. These people are sacred, so special, but often taken for granted. Something that I've recently been challenged with is finding the adequate amount of time to really stop and thank the people in my life that feel like home and have created safe places for me. Throughout the month of February, there were so many moments when I have felt God's presence the most through other people. I think this is such a special way that God reveals Himself and allows us to know Him more. Some of the moments that I documented experiencing the presence of God the most were.. -provision from God through friends, family, and even finances -sitting in my bed at home at 1am crying with my mom (although this seems like something most wouldn't share, I know that Christ sometimes seems the most present in our pain and hurting...

Two of the things I really want to focus on in 2019 are better self care and more contentment. Although I've been experimenting with several different ways to cultivate both of these in my daily life, I have found two that I really enjoy. I love to journal and I keep track of so many areas of my life through journaling. Throughout the month of January, I added two new aspects to my journal. I started keeping track of my five most listened to songs as I've realized how much music means to me and how much it really shows how I express myself through the season of life I'm going through. Another way in which I practice self care and contentment are by keeping track of the moments throughout the month is which I felt the presence of God the most. As I've taken time to reflect on both of these practices that I've done throughout the past month, it reminded me of how I had a goal for 2019 to write one blog post per month. Well, I guess for January that was an epic fail; h...

I often think about blogging, however haven't made the time to recently which is why my last blog was posted in July. I also took some intentional time away from blogging as I started to put pressure on myself to write a blog so often and it felt like it became a task and not something I really enjoyed. Now that I'm back, I really am enjoying it and have so much to say. This past semester, I have experienced so many life changes and have learned so many lessons from the Lord, especially through other people. One of the most important things I've learned this semester is the importance of self care. At the beginning of August, I was diagnosed with clinical anxiety. It became very clear to me that at school I would need to make self care a top priority in order to stay engaged in everyday life and to continue to excel in all of my classes. Honestly, at first I struggled. I had this image in my mind of what self care had to be. Once I released that thought of having to match...

As my birthday approaches later this week and I reflect on the past year of life, the one word that seems to reappear is the concept of growth. I have grown in so many ways this past year. I've grown through moving to Indiana Wesleyan University, quickly switching my major once I got there, learning how to live effectively with someone from another culture, finding a home church in Marion, and through figuring out all of the ins and outs of college life. I've grown in my self-awareness and knowing when I just need to be still and take a moment away from people, something that I would have never done for myself a year ago. I have grown in knowing what I want vs. what is best for me, such as feeling so much freedom from shutting off all notifications from social media. (If you haven't done this, I encourage anyone to do it!!) I've grown through hardships in my family life, having to learn to extend more grace than I wanted and learning to be extra patient (which is defini...

For the past three years, I've been traveling to Memphis, TN with my youth group to serve at Street Reach Ministries. While we are there, we serve the children of Memphis specifically during morning Bible Clubs. These are similar to Vacation Bible School, however they are outside and we walk door to door to pick up the kids, instead of them being dropped off by their parents. In the afternoon, we serve in different community projects such as visiting nursing homes, playing with kids at community centers, doing yard work, or cleaning the facilities we live in for the week to serve the other missionaries who are serving during the same week as us. Because I have been going to Street Reach for multiple years now, I was worried that it would become routine and mundane, however the Lord is faithful and always has something new to teach us. I was in awe of the way I grew spiritually while in Memphis, even just for a week's time, so I thought I would share just a hint of what I expe...

Although my original goal for the summer was to write a blog post about once a week, now that I'm a month in I guess I have failed with that, however here's an update about what I'm doing for the summer and how it's going. It's crazy to think almost a month ago, I moved back to Illinois for the summer. Honestly, I wasn't so thrilled about the idea of moving back home. However, the Lord has continued to fill my time back home with sweet reminders of His faithfulness and is working in my heart in a way that I didn't really expect. So what has the Lord been filling my time with and how am I continuing to grow? After spending an adventure-filled week at home with my little brother while my parents were on vacation, I started both of my internships. It was really nice to come back home and get to spend some quality time with my siblings, however it was also enjoyable to get used to having a routine. Through interning at my home church, I have been able to help ...

Ever since the beginning of 2017 I have had a running notes in my phone of hilarious, memorable or wise lines that important people in my life would say. Nonetheless, they are all very quoteworthy. As I have transitioned into life at Indiana Wesleyan and have found myself wanting to remember more and more of these lines that people would leave with me, I have started using a journal in order to collect these. As I have been wanting to write another blog post during these few boring weeks of May term, I figured that I would pass these along to you. I hope you enjoy!  "Your calendar will never mean more than your character" -Elijah Davis  "Experience influences expectations while expectations influence experience." -Dr. John Bray "God breaks us so He can build us." -Kaylee Daniels  "I had to put sleep on my checklist to make sure I get that." -Madison Reed "Vest day is the best day." -Charlie Alcock "When I can...

As I sat in my dorm room early this morning as the bright sun came through the antique blinds, I found myself reflecting on my past year at Indiana Wesleyan University. It is here that I have found myself in the utmost state of joy, yet somehow I've also experienced some of the hardest, most trying times of my life. I sat in wonder at how that could be. How in just eight months could I experience such an array of emotions, experiences, friendships, and moments? IWU has enabled me to really search myself and deal with some of the things I've pushed down throughout my life. This sacred place has given me some of the most pure, true friendships I've ever had in my life. This atmosphere has brought me joy, abundant joy and has shown me what it means to live life in full motion. However, when I reflect what this place has offered me the most, one word seems to come to mind: contentment. Throughout the end of high school, I found myself in a battle with comparison: spiritual comp...

Well, today I sat down at a coffee shop and realized I have done a terrible job at keeping my blog up to date, especially now that we are over four months in to 2018. This semester has been filled with a whirlwind of emotions, new journeys, lots of learning, and much more. However, I thought I would give a brief update about some of my personal goals for 2018, as well as where I am with those and what I am expecting to come for this year. Here are some of the goals I wrote for myself at the beginning of this year: Goals 1. Read the Bible everyday. 2. Exercise 3 times a week. 3. Find a mentor or two. 4. Get more experiences in ministry. 5. Lose weight, attain a healthier lifestyle plan. 6. Save at least $1,000. 7. Consume no pop (soda, whatever you want to call it). 8. Learn to live minimally. 9. Spend more time in prayer. 10. Continue to work on my habit of biting my nails. Wow, I remember sitting in my room that day and thinking where to even start and if I was getting i...

It's been almost two months since I've updated my blog, but this break was much needed and will probably continue for awhile longer as I continue to gather my thoughts on certain topics that I plan to write about in the future and as I continue to seek more of God's plans for the next few months of life. However, until then I wanted to give you an overview of my life lately, a few things I've been learning, answering some questions you may be wondering about, and updating you on some important people in my life! First of all, these past few months have been filled with so many different events, activities, and so on; however overall these past few months have been a growing season. I have been learning so much about so many different things that I didn't even know I needed to learn (isn't that the best though?!). At the beginning of the year I challenged myself to go a whole year of no pop, soda, whatever you prefer to call it. Although this was a choice tha...

Have you ever been going through a season of life where instead of you doing life, you feel like life is taking you for a spin? If not, you should be extremely thankful, but if you have, you know the very feeling I've felt during this past month. Although these past five months at college have been full of learning experiences and spiritual growth, so much has changed in my life this past month making it definitely a time for even more learning experiences and dependence on the Lord. I have been thinking these past few days about how quickly but also slowly this month has went by.. I feel as if I live this routine life.. I get up an hour and a half before my class, get ready and sometimes grab a yogurt for breakfast (I'm not sure where this terrible habit of not eating breakfast has come from), go to my classes, grab lunch or coffee with some friends or a professor, get some of my homework done before I go back to my dorm to drop my backpack and throw my hair into a bun before ...

I haven't posted on here in over two months, but honestly life has been so busy and I've been learning so much about myself, other people, and about all of the things college brings this past semester. Ever since I've been home from the busyness of college, I've been focusing on spending time with my family and friends and resting. (Rest is such an underrated gift from God. Take time to appreciate it. There may be a blog post coming about this soon.) However, one of the most important things I've been learning these past few months is the importance of being present. This is something our society has such a hard time with. We have so many distractions around us, whether that be our phones, our unstoppable thoughts of what we need to do later, people in need of our attention, or the demands of life in general, we are distracted beyond belief. About two months ago, I took a much needed social media break for just a few weeks and I quickly began to realize the amount o...

It's been a little over two months since I've been at Indiana Wesleyan and I have so many words to describe these past two months, but the first one that comes to mind is sustained. College is so rewarding in the many friends I've been able to make, in the people I've been able to pour into, in the relationships with new mentors that I have who are pouring into me, in the good way it has changed my relationship with my parents, in being able to learn more about what I have been called to do for the rest of my life. However, in the same moment, college is demanding, so demanding. It's demanding in the way that you have to be so intentional with the people you make relationships with, in the workload from classes, in managing your time, in the constant opportunities to get involved, in the way that you alone are responsible for how much sleep you get (still desperately trying to figure this one out). I've learned an incredible amount already from the rewards and d...