Dependence

Dependence: the state of relying on or being controlled by someone or something else 

Dependence is something I've struggled with my whole life. As some of you may know, I am extremely independent and I really dislike someone else being in control of me or having to depend on anyone else. Although I am not sure where I picked up this characteristic or what caused me to, it's true and I'll be honest about it. This has caused me to want to possess adult like characteristics from a young age. I remember constantly hearing my mom tell me as I was growing up "just be a kid, stop worrying about that." Now that I am older, I realize just how much I did worry about as a child that I really shouldn't have. Being under someone else's control or watch made me feel trapped. I remember the freeing feeling I felt as I walked across the stage at graduation, knowing that I would no longer have to ask someone else if I could use the restroom. I remember the freeing feeling that I felt as we pulled onto campus on move in day and the week after when I could go grab food whenever I wanted, I could hang out with whoever I wanted whenever I wanted for the most part and being able to not have to depend on anyone else.. but then it hit me. It hit me that I'm not at home anymore and that everything isn't so familiar anymore. However now that I am on my own, God has been teaching me so much even in the small amount of time I've been at Indiana Wesleyan. I've not only learned from Him but also from the people around me and their devotion to Christ. Throughout the past few weeks, I've felt so challenged and I've learned what it truly looks like to be dependent on God. While on my journey of church hopping this morning, the pastor of the church I was at used one of my all time favorite Bible verses, "Cast all of your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7. It's a verse I read and easily memorized at the start of high school and it really did encourage me through a lot of life's challenges throughout the past four years, even when I wasn't being a devoted Christian. I love that verse because not only does it tell us the truth of God's caring heart for us, but also commands us to rely on Him. God doesn't want us to worry, He wants us to cast it on Him. Even though we sin and go against Him everyday, He loves us so much that He wants to take all of our anxiety on for us. As I feel called to ministry and whatever that looks like in God's plan, I know that I will have to be dependent on Him. No matter what we place our feet on, if it's not Him, we will fail. However, I can rest assured knowing that I am depending on the most powerful, almighty, constant, and unwavering God and that He is the one I should choose to be dependent on.

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:2